Friday, July 4, 2008

4th of July

I should write something awesome about our freedoms and independence, but I'm not gonna. 4th of July reminds me of my mom. I think it's because she died the day before. I can still remember the first 4th of July after my mom died. It was so surreal, but I felt her sitting right beside me as I watched the fireworks. I could hear her saying as she always did, "wow, look at that one," or "I like that one the best." For the past two years I can still hear her making comments and it brings a mix of emotions for me. First missing her, but then excitment because I too look at the fireworks with the same awe she did. I look around and see my children staring at the explosions with amazement and wonder on their faces and wonder if my mom ever did the same with me and my siblings. I see her sitting in the church parking lot(where we watched the fireworks every year)in her lawn chair with a blanket on her lap. She made the 4th of July so much fun for us. I miss her, but I know that she is not far.

6 comments:

diane said...

You are a sweet daughter. The 4th reminds me of my brother too. This was his favorite holiday. He would have his own firework displays. He was such a pyro and came close to burning down a few neighborhoods. I will always think of him when I see fireworks.
I love your new background!

Liz said...

It's nice that you can still feel your mom with you. Hold on to it. You are lucky to have such great memories! Happy 4th!

Laura said...

I too remember the 4th when you lost your Mom. That was such a crazy time for you and you handled it all so gracefully. (even when I ruined your hair)
It's nice to have happy memories to llok back on. Your kids will have those too!

ferntyler said...

Its good that even though it is hard you have such fond memories of her tied to the holiday - you did handle it all so well and of course keep on doing so - so hard, though :)

Sunshine said...

I am sure your mom is proud of you. You are such a wonderful Mother, woman, friend and person. You are such a great example to all you come in contact with.

Todd and Camille Hendrickson said...

It means a lot to me when you share memories about Judy...holidays are so hard for us...mostly Todd.